Welcome to the latest in our silly series about moving to Spain. If you haven’t seen them already, here are the links to the earlier articles:
What to do if it all goes wrong
If by following all the steps above you still haven’t made a fortune, and the money is rapidly running out… don’t worry. Best thing to do is to sit on the terrace of your new bar and watch the world go by whilst you gaze into your third gin at 11am. Those people wandering past looking for a friendly face from which to purchase food and drink will jump at the chance of cheering you up.
Remember to tell all your customers how *insert your own reasons here* are to blame for your business failing. Well, it couldn’t possibly be your fault now could it? If you happen to give badly cooked food to your customers and they complain – be sure to raise your voice at them and point out how tough your life is… and that they can “naff off” for all you care. It doesn’t matter anyway – there will be a new bunch of tourists on the next plane in.
If you do find yourself in front of a computer – be sure to join as many forums as you can, and post loads about what a terrible place to live Spain is. Make sure that if someone asks a question about something you are not experienced in… to just throw in your opinions anyway whether they are right or wrong. You’ve been there for three months, so you obviously know everything about everything anyway. They should be grateful for your pearls of wisdom. If you’re stuck for something to say, have a read of some comments on any of the more bigoted tabloids – these guys are well rounded individuals and not narrow-minded in any way. Fine company!
Remember that you don’t need to change your plans if or when they don’t work. Flexibility is for fools! Stick to your guns… and if it doesn’t work, well that’s just Spain’s fault – it couldn’t possibly be yours.
As much as this series of articles has been tongue in cheek, we do wish you well. Having made the move to Spain ourselves, we know how rewarding it can be. It’s not always a bed of roses… but hey that’s half the fun! We love to live on the rocky beach of life where the waves break over your head at times. The alternative is to stand in a paddling pool all your life, with the water just skimming your ankles – okay so the latter is much safer, but for us personally, it’s just not as much fun!
Sorry – but we do not offer relocation advice on an individual basis through Spain Buddy. There are a number of relocation experts who are better placed to advise you on your new life in sunny Spain.